


Heads/Tails

by unprofessionalbard



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Brief description of violence, M/M, Post-Canon, inaccurate depictions of poker, major injuries but they get healed and aren't graphic, specifically post finale
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-01
Updated: 2018-10-01
Packaged: 2019-07-23 05:20:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,577
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16152419
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unprofessionalbard/pseuds/unprofessionalbard
Summary: DEATH SAVING THROWS:SUCCESSES: X - X - OFAILURES: X - X - O





	Heads/Tails

Just once, it would be nice if when Taako met up with Merle, it was for normal shit like a Candlenights dinner or something. But Merle always had his stone of farspeech off and neither of them had yet gotten into the habit of getting together without Magnus around to be pushy enough to make it happen, so now the only time it happened was when someone else asked them to do something. 

In this case Angus, asking for some help with a case. 

It was supposed to just take up the afternoon, and he and Merle were supposed to be emergency precautions, so to speak, but one thing led to another and then all of the sudden they were fighting a gargantuan roc along with your generic undead semi-aware army in the middle of Neverwinter.

You know, regular tuesday stuff.

Things actually go pretty well for the first half of the battle. Taako has got a group of this stupid, idiot, annoying ass army under control some distance away from Merle, Angus, and the roc, and he knows he’ll have to jump back in with them soon, but the more of these guys he can get rid of in the meantime, the better. 

So maybe he’s a little cocky, especially for someone who’s surrounded. That’s probably partly why things go sour, although Taako refuses to take all the blame for it. 

As for when it starts to go sour— it starts with a sharp pain in Taako’s chest, and then a dull ache, and then he tastes iron. He puts a hand on his chest and it comes up red, and he opens his mouth to get attention and what comes out is more red. 

He spins around, dizzy, and the motherfucker who stabbed him must see the murder in his eyes because his smug grin drops quickly— Taako blasts him before he even has time to try to run. 

And it hurts, obviously, it’s not comfortable being stabbed, but he’s pretty high level, so he’ll manage. This isn’t an issue. 

What _is_ an issue is when the roc swoops in and pick him up off the ground. 

Taako sends a fireball upwards at the same time Angus, nearly out of range now, send a lightning bolt streaking towards the roc, and Taako suddenly realizes the flaw in shooting at a creature holding you in the air.

And then the roc drops him (well, probably closer to _throws him_ , honestly, but tomato tomato or whatever), which, all things considered, Taako’s not sure whether it’s worse or not. His momentum keeps him moving forwards and the ground comes hurtling up towards him and Taako is suddenly not sure about if he has enough hit points left to survive impact.

 _This is gonna leave a mark,_ thinks Taako, and then he blacks out. 

 

When Taako comes to, it’s in an armchair. The comfy red one in Kravitz and Taako’s apartment that neither of them ever get to sit in because Pumpkin has long since claimed it as her bed. 

This isn’t his apartment though. It’s too barren, barely even any furniture; another armchair across from him (the less comfy black one that Dirtmaster 3000 had claimed as his bed nonetheless) and the kitchen table, which shouldn’t even be in the living room. The light streaming in through the windows is… Taako’s not sure what kind of light it is, but it bathes the scene in a surreal, dreamlike quality. 

Taako puts a hand to his chest and then draws it away— clean. No blood.

“Huh,” he says. 

“You know,” says a voice in front of him, “I still don’t understand what’s wrong with playing cards at Fantasy Reno.”

Taako’s head snaps up from his hand, to the other armchair. Empty seconds ago, Kravitz lazes on it, soft smile on his face, looking for all the world like he’d been sitting there the whole time. In fact, now that Taako thinks about it, he’s not sure Kravitz wasn’t sitting there the whole time. 

“Gets boring,” quips Taako, but his eyes are searching. Kravitz is in full reaper regalia, and despite maintaining his super handsome face, Taako swears he can see bone under skin. 

This is a business call. 

“Am I— fuck, am I dead?”

Kravitz shakes his head, but that’s not the end of it. Taako looks around the room— the harder he looks the less real it seems to be. 

“But I’m dying.”

“You could be,” says Kravitz. “Sort of depends on a lot of things. What do you remember?”

Taako squints. “I was… well, the whole, uh, the whole being thrown several city blocks after being stabbed, for sure.”

“And then?”

“And then…” Taako wracks his brain. After that he’d… well, he must’ve been rolling death saving throws, right? Right. And he’d succeeded twice, which meant he was one roll away from stabilizing, and then… “I crit failed my death saving throw.”

“Which means you have one roll left and it decides whether you live or die,” confirms Kravitz. 

Taako lets out a long sigh. “Bummer,” he says, “But you’re being— aren’t you a little early? I know I don’t always have fantastic luck, but—”

“I’m not here because I expect you to die, Taako.” For the first time, Kravitz looks disquieted and uncomfortable. Less relaxed. “This is— you can do another death saving throw if you like. But you are allowed to resolve the success and failure another way, as long as some element of chance remains. It still has to be a gamble.” 

Taako is picking up what he’s putting down, but Kravitz has always been a better gambler than Taako, so he stalls. “Where are we?”

“Astral plane,” explains Kravitz easily. “Or rather, a subsection thereof. Call it a waiting room. And ask anything else you need, this place is… sort of removed from time, and we can resolve what happens here as your next round of combat resolves, regardless of how long it takes.”

“Any amount of time huh? This place have any cameras? We could uhhhh— we could _make use of the space_ , if you know what I mean.”

Kravitz rolls his eyes, poorly stifling a grin. “Taako, I’m at work, and your life is currently on the line.” 

“Fine, we won’t do anything fun. Okay, next question, how do you know I won’t get healed?” Besides Merle ignoring the fact that he’s dying, anyway. But Merle wouldn’t genuinely do that, and Taako knows that for a fact, so he doesn’t bother to joke about it. 

Jokes about one of the party dying have gotten a lot more morbid since Magnus actually has for good.

“Distance,” says Kravitz. “You’re out of range of Merle’s spells. He’s been using his last three combat rounds to try to get to you— so has Angus— but you’re pretty far.” 

There’s a pain in Taako’s chest, not the knife but just as sharp, where Taako feels bad for even thinking to himself, even as a joke, that his friends wouldn’t try to save him. 

“Oh,” he says, and slumps down in his chair. “Hey, uh, don’t take this the wrong way, but where are Barry and Lup?” If he was beefing it, he’s certain they’d want to be here. 

“Busy with another job. They’re not even aware that you’re dying, and I risk putting them in danger if I contact them. So whatever game you pick, you had better win, because if you lose, your sister will murder me.” Kravitz’s lips quirk up into a smile, although he’s straight-faced again momentarily. 

“I thought that might be wh— that might be the connection you were, uh, you were making.” Taako sits up, putting his hands on the table. It’s an attempt to ground himself, but the room just feels more uncanny as a result, so he lets go. “So, what are the rules?”

“You get to pick the game, and you pick who goes first, and who deals, if that applies. Cheating is an instant lose—”

“—if you catch me.”

“I suppose,” says Kravitz, smiling now, although it fades after a second, “and in this particular case, it has to have an element of chance, since it’s an alternative to a fifty fifty draw.”

“Alright,” says Taako. Well, if he’s gambling his life, he might as well lean into the aesthetic. “Poker. Omaha.”

“You know I’m a better poker played than you.”

“Yeah,” agrees Taako, “But I’m banking on the fact that you’re my husband and you’ll go easy on me.”

Kravitz laughs, and shakes his head. “You really insist on trying to get me fired as often as possible, huh?” When this makes Taako laugh, he squares his shoulders and sits up. “Poker it is.” 

On the table in front of them, a stack of cards and some poker chips flash into view, and Taako suddenly can’t remember them ever not being there. They seemed as much a part of this room as anything else. 

“You deal,” says Taako, “And don’t go Skeletor on me. I know— I know Davenport likes the extra challenge, but I can use all the help I can get.” Not that Taako is fantastic at reading Kravitz's poker face regardless, but it's still easier than playing against a literal skull. Skulls don't arch their eyebrows when they get their hands. And... and just in case he— just in case, Taako wants to see Kravitz's face while they play.

“I can live with that,” says Kravitz, and starts the game. 

Taako chats. He has everything to lose and therefore nothing to lose, and it helps take his mind off of the _why_ of this poker game. He can half pretend this is Kravitz’s idea of bad entertainment— only half, since Kravitz is taking this very, very seriously. It’s obvious why, but Taako wishes he wouldn’t. 

“You know that one game you played with Magnus? Candlenights, when we met?”

“Yes, I remember. Hardly a game, though.” 

“He cheated. Just straight up stacked the deck.”

“Oh, he told me. Right after he died. Seemed to think he needed to keep it secret until then. The look on his face when I told him the deal you made after Refuge made it all moot anyway and he could’ve mentioned it any time was priceless.” 

Taako laughs, and Kravitz cracks a genuine smile for a moment before losing it. He lets Taako continue to chatter over the game and Taako tries to ignore his building nerves.

Taako doesn’t _get_ nervous.

“I love you,” says Kravitz, out of the blue. Taako ignores the way his blood ices, the way ‘I love you’ sounds so much like ‘goodbye’.

“Playing that well?”

Kravitz shrugs. “Stakes are high. I’d say it whether I was winning or losing. Taako, I love you so much, and I— I know I’ve been sort of, uhm— all business since we— since we started this but I… I wanted to make sure you know I’m not totally detached here.” 

Kravitz seems… crumpled. He hasn’t given up his mortal form, since Taako asked him not to, but even so it feels like he’s retreating into his skeletal form. That and the practiced ease from earlier tips Taako off— this might be rare, but it’s certainly not the first game for life Kravitz has done. Years of dealing with a direct involvement in someone’s death— an innocent someone— must make you desensitized. 

Not that Taako is innocent of Death Crimes (pardoned, though, so good as). But he also isn’t a stranger. Kravitz’s poker face has returned.

“Do you do this often?”

“What?”

“Pull someone into a waiting room and gamble on their life.”

“Depends. A gamble is a gamble. I know it makes people feel better to think they have more control over their fate by playing a game, and it can improve the odds depending on what they pick, so whenever I’m allowed I tend to opt in.”

“But you don’t have to?”

“No. It’s like— imagine your life as the flip of a coin. It doesn’t really matter who flips it if it lands on tails either way, right? Same chances, so we don’t have to bother if we don’t want to.”

Taako hums. “Poker has a skill component.”

“Not that you would know.”

“Hey! I’m dying, be nice to me!” Taako cracks a smile, but Kravitz’s face falls. 

“I love you,” he repeats. 

“I know,” says Taako, soft, more affirmation than anything else. “Krav, fuck, if I don’t know anything else, I know you love me.”

Kravitz lets it rest, then, and they play on, words still ringing around Taako’s head.

”Last chance to fold,” says Taako as the game draws to a close, and Kravitz snorts. 

“I’m okay,” he says, and Taako shrugs. 

“Suit yourself. And— hey,” This is very sentimental, which isn’t usually Taako’s jam, but he could die, and it’s not like Kravitz hasn’t dealt with sentimentality before. “If I lose this, you aren’t— you, uh, you’re not allowed to blame yourself.”

Kravitz’s poker face slips, just a little. Other people likely wouldn’t be able to notice it at all, but Taako does. 

“You did what you could. This is— I’m well aware this—” Taaka gestures to the room around them— ”is likely already special treatment. So if I die, then that’s that for ol’ Taako, okay? And it’s not your fault. I’ve taken a lot of hits over the years. Eventually they were gonna catch up to me.” The lives of adventurers tended to be short, anyway. 

“Lup is going to kill me if you lose.”

“She super won’t,” says Taako. “And you know that.” They both know that. Lup would be upset, but she would understand. She would know Kravitz did what she could, and Taako didn’t doubt that if he did die, he wouldn’t get to go without saying his goodbyes. Kravitz would make sure of that. “Which is why I didn’t mention it. I don’t— this is about you. I don’t want this to eat you up inside. You’re not allowed to mope about and wonder what you could have done differently, capisce?”

He waits until Kravitz nods, and resumes his poker face, and then Taako splits into a grin. 

“But I _won’t_ lose, ‘cause check out this bad boy—” Taako throws his hand face up on the table to reveal it. “Straight flush!” Sure enough, Taako’s hand was all hearts, nine through jack, and the community king and queen finished the hand. Not quite a royal flush— he hadn’t managed to get the ace, and hadn’t wanted to gamble away the second best hand in the game to try for the first. Besides, the chances that Kravitz had pulled together a royal flush were incredibly low. 

Even still, Taako can feel his heart pounding and Kravitz leans over, impassive, to study his hand. His life hangs in the balance, and despite all his quips since he got here, he’s not ready to die yet. 

There are a few seconds, while his husband, more skull than man now, studies the table and his own hand— seconds where Taako gets what ‘life flashing before your eyes’ means. Where he thinks over everything he did, didn’t do, was planning to do, and wonders if he’s satisfied with it. 

He’s not. But he’s still in the prime of his life (well, that’s debatable, but he’s certainly not _old_ , so it stands).

He wonders if Magnus was satisfied with his life when he died.

Kravitz tilts his head, cards still pulled to his chest. “Oh,” he says. The light coming from the window seems to get brighter, and Taako snaps his gaze over to it before looking back at Kravitz.

“What _oh_?”

“Angus casted Haste on Merle. Good man.”

“We all know spells. What’s your hand?”

Kravitz grins, and winks, and puts his hand face down on the table. “Game over, Taako. Your cleric came through after all.”

The room starts to fade, and as objects become more translucent, Taako understands— Angus had made it possible for Merle to get close enough to heal him, which resolved before anything in this room did.

“Did I win though?” Taako demands, and scowls when Kravitz laughs. “Did I win? Would I have made it if I hadn’t been— if he hadn’t got there? Did I win though?” He reaches for Kravitz’s cards, but his hand goes right through the table— he’s too solid, too alive to interact with this part of the astral plane anymore. The room is brighter still, so bright Taako can’t read even his own cards anymore.

“See you at home, love. Please try not to almost die a second time.”

“Did I win?!”

Kravitz laughs again, and then the room lights up brilliant, blinding light, filling Taako’s vision, so bright he can barely stand it, has to squeeze his eyes shut and shield his face—

 

And then Taako wakes up, thirteen hit points to his name. 

His eyes flutter open and he’s still a little dizzy, but there’s no pain in his chest anymore, and his back and head don’t hurt anywhere near the amount they should for someone thrown bodily into a building. 

“Fucking— took you— long enough—” he spits out, along with leftover blood, which gives him a start for a second, but no more comes to take its place, so he hauls himself to his feet. Merle, some twenty odd feet away still, puts a hand out, the other on his bible, and casts another healing spell before promptly collapsing on the ground. 

“Ungrateful,” he groans, as soon as Taako is within earshot. “Gimme a second.” 

“Taako!” yells Angus, from even farther away, “You’re alive!”

“Can’t get rid of me that easily!” yells Taako back, ignoring the way the words stick in his throat for a second. “Let’s go, I’ve— I got spell slots to burn, baby!” 

They win. Obviously. Angus apologizes profusely for the near-death situation his case caused, and Taako and Merle dismiss it saying that at this point, this is a basic tuesday. Taako does ask that next time, Angus try someone else first, because he’ll be too busy having a relaxing bath to take part. Angus tells him that’s probably justified, Taako calls him ‘little man’ even though he’s in his late forties now, and everyone goes home happy. 

Taako cooks when he gets home. He’s the first one home, but the cats keep him company in the meantime and the cooking keeps him occupied enough to ignore the mild shake in his hands. 

It’s a couple hours later when Kravitz finally comes home. 

“Hey babe,” says Taako, tone purposefully light. “How was work?”

“Fine,” says Kravitz as he comes into the kitchen. “Had to play poker with a man who moved his ears every time he had a card that he liked.”

“I’m sure it was uh— must’ve been part of a very good double bluff.” Taako turns off the burner and shifts his pot to one that isn’t hot. 

“Ah,” says Kravitz, “I see. I think you must be right.” A beat, and Kravitz’s joking smile fades into a soft sincere one. “I’m glad you’re home safe, Taako.”

They drop it until several hours later, when they’re curled in bed, Kravitz resting his head on Taako’s chest, Taako holding Kravitz maybe a little tighter than most nights. 

“You had a royal flush, didn’t you, you bastard.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Kravitz is clearly just about asleep, but Taako doesn’t let it go. 

“Tell me your hand.”

“No.”

“Tell me.” 

“No.”

“I wanna know if I won, tell me.”

“It’s against the law of—”

Taako snorts, and he can feel Kravitz silently laugh on his chest. “It super is not. The game is over, telling me has no effect on— on anything.” 

There’s a long silence, and then Kravitz sighs. “I had four of a kind,” he says, “Aces, using the ace of diamonds on the table. I had the ace of hearts the whole time, which is why you could never get a royal flush.”

“Oh,” says Taako, and then, “I have no idea if you’re telling the truth.”

“Nope,” says Kravitz, “I could have actually had a royal flush. Or I could have had a pair of twos. You’ll never know for sure.” His hand traces shapes on Taako’s side. “A miss is as good as a mile.”

“I don’t care about the fact that I survived, I just wanna know if I can brag about cheating death.”

“You can, but you know how the fantasy tabloids are going to interpret that sentence.”

“Shit, you’re right,” says Taako, and Kravitz laughs. It’s not totally gone, but Taako feels some of the tension from earlier today start to melt— he’s had near-death experiences before, in all senses of the phrase. Just another day at the office. “I love you,” he says, “I didn’t say it in the waiting room cause I— I mean, I was stressed and I didn’t want it to sound like something final I— but I want you to know, Kravitz. I love you.” 

Kravitz curls around him even tighter, and murmurs, voice coloured by sleep, so quietly Taako can barely hear it, “I love you too.”

And this time, it sounds like a _hello_ , a start or a middle instead of a finish, so Taako pulls him closer too, and drifts off to sleep, reveling in the fact that they get another tomorrow. 


End file.
